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Imploding

I’m collapsing from the inside out. Nobody can see. Isn’t it written all over my face? I’m tired .. of it all. Everything and everybody is too much. I want to run away. From responsibility, from love.. from everything. I just want need to get away. A place where I can relinquish my mind. A place where all my thoughts can run free.

I’m sinking.

Is anybody else plummeting? I feel like i’m the only one. I long for a time when things were simpler. I dream of re-inventing myself. How did I get here? To be anywhere but here, mentally, emotionally, and physically. This is not like me. Always the one smiling. Now I want to drown myself in alcohol, or maybe just drown..

play-the-game:

Don’t lie to yourself

In the fight to feel emotionally stable, don’t downplay your emotions. Don’t normalize abnormal circumstances. Don’t generalize to make your situation feel small.

This is something I am trying to no longer do. If I’m not feeling well, it’s a disservice to myself to say “Well things were never that bad because I’m clearly fine now”.

No. Things were that bad. And it’s okay they were that bad. And congrats to myself for not allowing it to stop me.

Be honest with yourself and your situations, even if it means admitting things fucking suck.